There is a space

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." 

~Victor Frankl

From an excellent post at Zen Habits... check it out!

Is your mind wandering?

I don’t know about yours, but my mind loves to wander. I'm usually jumping between my to-do list, worries, plans, memories... anywhere but where I am.

What do exercise, good conversation, and sex have in common? According to this study recently published in Science, these are the times when our minds wander the least -- the times when we are most in the present moment.

From the opening paragraph of the paper:

Unlike other animals, human beings spend a lot of time thinking about what is not going on around them, contemplating events that happened in the past, might happen in the future, or will never happen at all. Indeed, “stimulus-independent thought” or “mind wandering” appears to be the brain’s default mode of operation. Although this ability is a remarkable evolutionary achievement that allows people to learn, reason, and plan, it may have an emotional cost. Many philosophical and religious traditions teach that happiness is to be found by living in the moment, and practitioners are trained to resist mind wandering and “to be here now.” These traditions suggest that a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Are they right?

I like the way the authors went about answering this question: they used an iphone app to randomly contact people throughout the day and collect information on their daily thoughts, feelings, and actions. They were then able to create "an unusually large database of real-time reports of thoughts, feelings, and actions of a broad range of people as they went about their daily activities." 

They recorded people’s answers in this database www.trackyourhappiness.org. Check out that website if interested -- you can sign up to start tracking your own happiness levels (I just did!).

3 interesting findings from the study:

1. People’s minds wander frequently.
2. People were less happy when their minds were wandering than when they were not.
3. What people were thinking was a better predictor of their happiness than was what they were doing. 

They found that people are happiest when making love, exercising, and in conversation. Our minds tend to wander unpleasantly when we are working, sleeping, and at home on our computers. 

It seems that the ancient traditions were right: our wandering minds lead us to unhappiness. So maybe the key to happiness is figuring out how to control our minds.

That’s really the whole point of yoga: to train and discipline our minds, to keep coming back to the present moment, to practice being here now.

Traveling yoga

It’s especially important for me to keep up my yoga practice while traveling... the busier and more exhausted I am, the more I need it.

Two solutions I’ve found for doing yoga while traveling far from my yoga home: 1) checking out local yoga studios when possible (not always possible), and 2) carrying with me a yoga DVD (always possible). 

I've recently been carrying David Garrigues’ Ashtanga Yoga DVD. David moved to Philly over a year ago and has had a huge influence over my practice -- breath, bandhas, food, jumpbacks, handstands, backbends, taking rest when I need it. Check it out: 

David Garrigues Ashtanga Yoga: A Primary Series Guide from David Garrigues on Vimeo.

The DVD has a led primary (perfect to do at home or in a hotel room with the heat cranked up), a second led primary with more detailed instructions on postures and modifications (great for new students), and an added bonus are short video-interviews with some answers to questions I've always wondered about, for example: 

• Is Ashtanga yoga aimed towards young and healthy people? “Anyone any age can do this practice, but depending on your strength, your age, your commitment, your kinesthetic awareness of your body, your time, how much you work, what kind of things you have going on in your life… you’ll have to modify and adapt and make the practice your own.” 

• Does the strict traditional Ashtanga yoga practice blunt our creativity and individuality? “We do set sequences and so it’s all laid out and all mapped out. And yet, within that, every person creates their own practice… You learn your own style… you access your potential and creativity.” 

• How does the Ashtanga yoga practice change over time? "The practice is going to change. There are so many different ways it can change: It can be a wave, it can be a struggle, it can be ascending and soaring, it can be a circle, a spiral, it can plateau, it can feel like its going down and staying down, but then it’ll go back up.” 

Check back in tomorrow for a special interview with David!

What are you learning?!

“Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it.” ~ Plato

Still sore… and thinking how Plato would have liked the Ashtanga yoga practice.

I’m doing the same asana practice that I’ve been doing for years, but there’s something about working with David Keil this week that’s bringing it to a new level. This is why I love having many different yoga teachers: tiny tweaks can change everything.

A few things David K has brought to my attention this week:

• Keeping my mouth closed throughout entire practice (I thought I had been doing this but now realize I haven’t)
• Focusing on hamstrings in the standing foundation poses (my tight hamstrings have led to some recent back pain)
• Using my fingertips in nakrasana (This pose is so hard for me! See below)
• Doing handstands immediately after backbends (and starting to think about going from handstand to backbend and back up to standing) 

Nakrasana

Any other Y2 people reading this: please share what you're learning! One downside to this mysore-style practice is that I can’t hear everything the teacher tells other people!

A glimpse

David Keil is in Philadelphia for the week and I am LOVING practicing with him (check out his yoga anatomy blog!). His adjustments are like no other, and I am feeling wonderfully sore.

I read this quote on naturally nina's blog this morning, and it perfectly described what I felt during practice today:

“Peace: It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things, and still be calm in your heart.” ~Unknown

There can be so much chaos when I'm getting into a pose, but once I get there, and if I stay there, and especially if a teacher keeps me there, that noise can quickly quiet. Yoga gives a glimpse of the possibility of calm amidst chaos, something we all could use more of off of our yoga mats...

5 things I'm loving about practice right now

• Pushing through. It’s really hard to get through the whole practice, but sticking with it even when I don’t feel like it helps with the thousands of other unpleasant things in life I may not feel like doing. The morning practice toughens me up for the rest of my day.
• Not pushing through. Sometimes what I really need is to take a step back, slow down, and not do the full practice. And I really appreciate having teachers who allow for the freedom to get what I need out of practice, even if it’s different every day.
• Running before practice. Some people in the Ashtanga tradition may frown upon this, but that will not stop me! When I do a short run before practice (or run to practice), I find that my mind is quieter, I build more heat, I move more mindfully, and I don’t feel as rushed. I think it even helps open up my hips and lower back (though I’ve heard people say it does the opposite for them).
• Trying karandavasana. I don’t think I will ever be able to do the full version of this pose, but I still try to practice it every day. It’s a daily practice of imperfectionism.

• New savasana practice: My med school friend Brian started practicing with us a few weeks ago, and he told me that when he lies down for savasana (final resting pose), he thinks about everything on his mind all at once... and then lets it all go. I've been trying it out and it actually leads to some milliseconds of mental silence! It’s sort of when you clench all the muscles in your body at once and let them go, you find that everything relaxes more easily.

Digging deeper

When things get tough, it sometimes seems like the easiest thing to do is give up and move on to something else. I’ve found myself doing this in my yoga practice (as well as in other areas of my life). When in a difficult pose (or situation), I will quickly move out of it and on to the next one.

That’s why this passage from Freeman’s book, The Mirror of Yoga, really resonated with me:

There is a wonderful story about a man digging a well. He would begin digging down and after five or six feet of digging, which is very hard work, he would find no water, and so he would climb out of the little hole he had made, move twenty feet over, and dig another hole for his well. But after digging about six feet down, he would give up again, move twenty feet in another direction and start digging again. This went on, and on, and on, and he never found water.

So it is with the restless ego pursuing yoga, seeking ornaments for an improved self-image and new ways of feeling better, but avoiding the true facts of life. When the school or practice becomes difficult – which is precisely the entry point into reality – it is at this crisis point that you really have to drop your pretenses and keep digging deeper into the experience. However, all too often it is right at this juncture that we tend to give up the practice. We move on to a “better” teaching or a “more interesting” school, rather than sticking with it and investigating the inner work that is the purpose of the school and the teachings in the first place.

The daily practice of yoga forces us to work on our struggles every single day. It reminds us that change is slow and incremental, but it eventually happens. Things we thought were impossible become possible. Patterns in our bodies and minds can be broken and rebuilt.

So today in practice (thanks to Karen) I tried staying in my dreaded poses just a little bit longer. I don’t want to be constantly moving to easy and shallow holes, never finding water... I want to be digging deep wells.

Learning to be silent

“Learn to be silent. Let your quiet mind listen and absorb.” 

~Pythagoras, Greek philosopher and mathematician (~ 500 B.C.)

Yesterday was the first day of a weekly meditation session at the medical school. We met in the student lounge and were led through a pre-recorded 10-minute mindfulness meditation.

This worked well because 1) it was not much time out of people’s busy days (about 20 minutes), and 2) not much organization was necessary (all we needed was a recorded meditation on a computer with speaker).

Sitting quietly in a room with people is something we rarely get to experience these days. We walk with our ipods, we turn on the tv at home, our phones are constantly attached to us awaiting the next text or phone call.

One of the things I love most about practicing mysore-style Ashtanga yoga is the silent sharing of space with people. Usually, we actively avoid this space, as we constantly try to fill silences with chatter or background noise. But there’s a lot we can learn and share in silence, too.

Check out this short video of the beautiful silence in an Ashtanga mysore class (from Richard Freeman's 2009 Teacher Intensive):

Pythagoras reminds us of the importance of this silent space. We need it to listen, to absorb, to think, to create. Schools and hospitals are perfect places to provide this… and I can’t wait for the day when the hospital I work/teach at has a morning mysore program! 

Sunday yoga and the science of love

I can’t think of a better way to start a Sunday than with mysore practice with yogi friends followed by a group coffee date at La Colombe… perfect!

I love seeing our little yoga family growing here: new students, new friends, and new babies! Two of our beautiful ladies are now pregnant, and it’s such a treat to get to practice with them every morning (and have one of them be our amazing teacher)!

This is one reason we chose our latest book club book to be The Scientification of Love, by Michel Odent.

It’s about the science behind love (i.e. falling love, life partnership, pregnancy, giving birth, raising a child). The author, Michel Odent, is a French obstetrician whose research focuses on the primal period (the time of life between birth and 1 year of age), and he correlates events during this time period with health and behaviors later in life.

It’s a fascinating book. Here are some highlights:

1. In some animals, pain during birth correlates with love for the newborn. Research in animals has shown that when painkillers/anesthesia are given during birth, some mothers will actually reject their newborns (they do not seem to recognize it as their own). For example, ewes given epidurals will not take care of their lambs!
2. Oxytocin is the “hormone of love.” You may have heard about this hormone because it’s released during breastfeeding (builds the mother-child bond). In addition, both men and women release it during sexual activity/orgasm. Well, we also release it when we share a meal with someone! (One question that came up: do our oxytocin levels rise when we practice yoga together  each morning?)
3. Love-sickness is a real thing. Anyone who has ever been in love knows this feeling: the physical illness you get when you lose or are separated from your loved one (knot in the stomach, loss of appetite, etc). This is an actual chemical withdrawal of neurotransmitters (i.e. phenylethylamine - PEA), and you are craving them. 
4. Falling in love has chemical similarities to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). You know the feeling: you meet someone, you get crushy, you fall in love, and you develop OCD tendencies with this person (similarly with a new baby). When people fall in love they actually have lower levels of serotonin in the brain, just like people with clinically diagnosed OCD. 

Doing yoga when we can't

It’s been a busy few weeks and I haven’t been able to do much of a morning yoga practice lately, so I’ve been trying to practice while running between the hospital/lab/office/airport.

This has included:

• Breathing slowly and holding my breath between each inhale and exhale (a perfect exercise while sitting in meetings or on a plane)
• Engaging uddiyana and mula bandha all the time
• Chewing slowly and mindfully (trying for 25-50 chews per mouthful - this is surprisingly hard!)
• Eating healthy snacks and meals at regular times
• Doing backbends when feeling sleepy or lethargic (easy to do against any wall or door)
• Observing my mental chatter and noticing when they jump to the future or past
• Smiling (especially when I don’t feel like it)
• Maintaining equanimity (or at least attempting to)

The Bhagavad Gita says:

"Self-possessed, resolute, act

without any thought of results,

open to success or failure.

This equanimity is yoga."

This equanimity is yoga. I like that.

6 reasons why we need our injuries

My wrist is injured. This means I can’t do my normal yoga practice (can't do regular sun salutations or vinyasas, can’t work on jumbpacks, handstands, or backbends). It’s frustrating.

But in many ways, this injury is good for me. Here are 6 reasons why we sometimes need our injuries:

1. The physical practice does not matter. It's so easy to forget that yoga is not the physical practice. We get attached to the idea of being able to do certain postures, but that is not the point (click here for a perspective on the whole point). It's not about the end goal but about the process.
2. Healthy humbling. Everything is not within our control. Yes, we can plan for the future and take steps to reach certain goals, but we cannot plan everything. We get injured, accidents happen, and things change.
3. Work on things that have been neglected. Injury allows us to refocus on parts of the practice we may have been neglecting: the breath, standing poses, upward facing dog (holding for a few slow breaths rather than rushing out of it), shoulder stand (staying in it for a long time). 
4. Slow down. A daily yoga practice can be intense and our bodies may get over-worked. Injury may be a signal that our bodies need some rest and TLC.
5. Reflection. Times when we don't feel our best are good opportunities to take a step back and evaluate our overall health and happiness. What habits have I been cultivating? Am I eating well? Am I stressed? Am I sleeping enough? Am I spending my time well? Am I spending enough time with important people in my life?
6. Reminder that life is not linear. Things go in cycles. There are going to be ups and downs of my yoga practice just as there are ups and downs of everything else in life (jobs, relationships, moods, weather). Everything has an opposite (think about yin and yang).

Is your yoga working?

“If the practice has any value at all, it’s because of the changes that occur outside of the yoga practice.” 

 ~John Campbell 

I liked his explanation for why yoga works outside of the practice:

Yoga eases some of our physical pain and strengthens our mind, “making us less prone to self-absorbed and dysfunctional behavior."

When we have fewer worries on our mind, we naturally think less about ourselves and think more about other people.

5 things your yoga should be doing:

• Fewer self-obsessed thoughts
• Better interactions with others
• More compassion towards others
• More sensitivity
• More creativity 

If these are not happening, then the yoga is not working (or you may not be being guided properly).

It's so easy to get stuck in the self-focused physical practice (I want to jumpback, do a handstand, grab my heels in kapotasana, get the next pose, on and on). But the important question to continually ask myself is: "Is the yoga actually working?"

High school yoga lesson: Get out of your comfort zone

A local high school started yoga as a daily part of their summer school program so I’ve been teaching there a couple mornings a week. I never expect too many kids to actually show up but they’ve been slowly trickling in.

Before class yesterday, one of the students was talking about how he’s been trying to get out of his comfort zone more often. He said:

“When you only do what is comfortable, your comfort zone stays small. But when you widen it by doing things you’re not comfortable with, more opportunities become available to you.”

He had perfectly put into words one of the main reasons why I love the ashtanga mysore practice. It makes us push our physical and mental boundaries every morning. When things start getting too comfortable, we get something new to work on (jumpbacks, handstands, more backbends, a new pose). This practice of getting comfortable with the uncomfortable then bleeds into other areas of our life creating more opportunities for ourselves.

Experimenting with food

The Hatha Yoga Pradipika (chapter 1 verse 64) says the following:

"Wheat, rice, barley, shastik (a kind of rice), good corns, milk, ghee, sugar, butter, sugarcandy, honey, dried ginger, Parwal (a vegetable), the five vegetables, moong, pure water, these are very beneficial to those who practice Yoga."

I'm not sure how well this verse applies to my life, but it is certainly true that my interest in food has increased along with my yoga practice. What is good food to eat? How will eating certain foods make me feel? Which foods support the intensity of the ashtanga yoga practice (as well as other physically and mentally demanding activities)?

A lot of times I turn to my yoga teachers with these questions, but something John Campbell said last weekend made me think differently. He said something like,

"People over-relied on Guruji for questions on how to live their lives (What should I wear? How fat or skinny should I be?) Don't ask your guru questions that you should figure out yourself."

Just as experimentation is important for the physical asana practice, we should be experimenting with food. How else do we figure out what we like? What works for one person may not work for someone else.

For me, my general food criteria include the following:

• Simple and easy to prepare (does not require fancy kitchen equipment or ingredients I don't typically have)
• Efficient use of time (can make large amounts to be eaten over several days)
• Made from local and fresh foods (for the most part)
• Energizing (does not cause post-consumption mind-fog)
• Nutritious
• Tasty
• Portable (can easily pack in bag and bring to work) 

Most importantly, I like leaving lots of room for experimentation... which is how I discovered this:

***Kale Banana Smoothie***

Blend handful of kale, a banana, yogurt, water, ice (and whatever else you think might be good!)

Perfect post-practice. 

Make lots, keep in the fridge, and look out for kale stuck in teeth.

The 4 Noble Truths

In case you're curious about the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism (What are they? How do they apply to yoga? Are they relevant to my life?) this post is for you.

John Campbell gave a great talk on these last weekend, using a metaphor to the medical world which I appreciated! A summary:

Truth #1: Suffering is the nature of reality.

Diagnosis of a disease: You have an all-encompassing disease of never-ending suffering. You must realize this before you can do anything about it. 

Kinds of suffering:

• Self-evident suffering: physical pain, emotional angst (i.e. my back hurts, my wrists hurt, my feelings hurt, etc)
• The suffering associated with the impermanence of all things: the experience of happiness or pleasure is fleeting and cannot be recreated (i.e. the endorphin-high after my morning running feels amazing now but will not last forever)
• Suffering is a pervasive condition: Things will always change, there will always be some sort of suffering

Truth #2: There is a cause for our suffering.

There is a cause for our disease: The cause is our cravings, attachments, and “thirst” for things. We have an addictive relationship to desire. Our senses are always bringing in information from the outside world and we think we can’t be fulfilled until we get what we want.

We live by constantly fulfilling temporary thirsts: find food, find a good job, find a lover. We think we are happy. But things will change: your job won't stay the same, you will be separated from your lover, you will age, your body will change, etc. 

Truth #3: We can remove this suffering.

There is a cure for our disease: It is possible to end this suffering and stop our incessant cravings.

Truth #4: Suffering can be removed by following the 8-fold path.

The treatment is this 8-fold path: right thoughts, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration.

These overlap with the 8 limbs of yoga (“Ashtanga” = 8 limbs). Both start with ethical disciplines such as being truthful. This helps develop the right state of mind so that we can control our sensations, the mind can begin to focus inward, and we can then become more aware of our cravings and attachments.

Like kids in a candy store

People sometimes criticize the practice of yoga or meditation by saying it creates “aloofness.”

John Campbell explained that no, it’s not that at all. Instead, we are actually freeing ourselves from the useless and wasteful thoughts that usually clog our minds.

“We are like kids in a candy store grabbing at everything - our sense are overwhelmed. We need to take control of the process and make it deliberate.”

What are we imprinting?

I went to a great workshop with John Campbell this past weekend. I’ll try to post more about some of the things he talked about, but one idea that I especially liked was how he said that yoga is the active creation of the person you want to become.

The yoga practice actually helps “lay down an impression.” It changes how we think, how we feel, what we do, how we see ourselves. We can then choose the content we want to imprint on our lives. We can control our thoughts and actions. We can determine who we are and who we become.

(Speaking of imprinting: I need to stop imprinting this millet muffin addiction that I’ve developed... must stop buying them at the hospital every day!)

Thank goodness we are not static and unchanging beings! This seems especially important for physicians and teachers to remember: one can always create new habits, new actions, new thought patterns, new relationships, and new selves of one’s self.

P.S. Check out this picture of John Campbell with Sharath... whoa.

Switching scales

During a difficult moment in class one day, Richard Freeman said something like:

“If you get frustrated with the macroscopic scale, just switch to the microscopic scale.”

I've been thinking about this lately because my macroscopic practice has not been feeling great. This is mainly because my back (SI joint?) has been hurting so I'm trying to be really careful. Other macroscopic issues: kapotasana seems awfully stiff and I think my jumpbacks are regressing.

So I’m trying to think microscopically. Things that are invisible on the macroscopic scale have great significance on the microscopic scale! The picometers of muscle fibers growing in my legs, core, and shoulders. The nanoseconds longer I can hold karandavasana. The microscopic re-wiring of my neurons as they develop the muscle memory of a jumpback.

But sometimes what I really need is the opposite: to switch to the BIGGEST POSSIBLE macroscopic scale. If my mind cluttered with attachments, desires, fears or frustrations, it can be helpful to go extremely macroscopic. We are so small. Whatever I am clinging to or thinking about is insignificant!

If you need any help getting on this macroscopic scale, check out the Hubble Imax film (it is AMAZING!)

Being an imperfectionist

This is one of my favorite lines from the Bhagavad Gita (Chapter 3, verse 35) and it’s been on my mind lately:

“Better is one’s own law though imperfectly carried out than the law of another carried out perfectly.”

5 things I’m imperfectly carrying out right now:

1. Career choice: Do I chase the conventional markers of success (high paying specialty) or pursue my interests and passions (which may be less prestigious)?
2. Relationship timeline: Do I attempt to fit into the traditional timeline of dating, engagement, marriage, babies by mid-30’s (aaah!) or let go of that and follow the timeline that works for my life?
3. Yoga practice: Do I stick to the strict ashtanga practice every or sometimes skip around, add, and experiment?
4. Food: Do I follow a specific dietary set of rules (vegetarian, vegan, macrobiotic, raw, yogic, etc) or follow my own system that works for me (and which might be subject to change)?
5. Meditation practice: Do I sit in lotus position for a specified amount of time or do I allow for different approaches (such as getting up and going for a mindful run)?

I think I like being an imperfectionist.

6 things I'm loving about practice right now

• Not being orthodox. Since being back I’ve practiced either at the shala, at home, or not at all (took a day off to be with family at the beach). It’s nice not to be too regimented about the whole thing.
• Not doing my full practice (which can take 2.5 hours). Enjoying the freedom to jump around and experiment with things.
• Home-practices in my de-cluttered room. Having lots of empty floor space and a clear desk has turned my room into a lovely space to practice asana and/or sitting.
• Jumpbacks (or “jumpforwards” as Richard would call them). Still can’t do them smoothly but 1) I feel less attached to them, and 2) I’m having fun in my attempts. I’ve also been working on jumping back with my left foot first. This is so much harder for me! I didn’t realize I was getting lopsided always doing right foot first.
• New iphone app (thanks for this idea, Mariana!). Rings a bell to start/end a sitting meditation and you can choose 20, 30, or 40 minute sessions (wish they had a 10 minute option, hah).
• Kapotasana. Still so painful but I’ve been playing with entering this pose from the opposite direction (another Richard trick). I pretend to go into a backbend but then drop my knees to the floor in front of me and walk my hands in (helps keep the quads/pelvic floor engaged).