Let's stop apologizing, ladies.

In the yoga studio, in the hospital, in the lab, in relationships…. I always seem to be apologizing for something!

I see my girlfriends doing it too. Why are we apologizing so much?! I loved reading this paper that just came out (thank you for sending, Lizzie!) that provides some evidence and explanation for this “sorry” gender imbalance.

Here is what they found:

• Women apologize more often than men, but importantly, women report committing more offenses than men
• Men rate offenses as less severe (and less often deserving of an apology)
• Once men and women identified a behavior as offensive, they were equally likely to apologize (it’s just that men see fewer things as offensive) 

The bottom line: 

Women have a lower threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior

I want to work on cutting down on my “Sorry’s.” 

Here’s how:

1. Count my apologies. How many times do I actually apologize in a day? Yesterday I counted 4 before 10am… that seems like too much (especially since none of them really deserved an apology).
2. Categorize my apologies. This will help me understand what I’m actually apologizing for all day long. Every time I say “sorry,” label it in one of these categories (as described in the article) 
• Relational (e.g., insulting someone) 
• Failed obligation (e.g., failing to complete chores) 
• Inconvenience (e.g., calling a wrong number) 
• Physical or material (e.g., bumping into someone, damaging someone’s belongings)
3. Raise my sorry threshold. Pause before saying “sorry” – does this warrant an apology? Try to adopt more of a male mentality about this.